The reason I came to Lappeenranta for such a short visit was to see how my dad was doing. Happily, everything looks good so I don’t have to be worried about him all the time.
But I also wanted to see the plaque with mom’s name, it was mounted long after the funeral so I haven’t seen it yet. She was cremated and the way they do it is that there’s just a memorial with small plaques and the urn with the ashes is buried in a common area without marking the specific spot.
I expected that I would be emotional to see the name, it feels so … final. I mean death is obviously very final, but seeing her name there would kind of make it official. But somehow, when I was looking at it, I was quite calm. I think it’s been a long enough to accept the situation so the plaque didn’t bring me anything new. I just lit the candle and touched her name and thought of her, like I do every day.